Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
