he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
