The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
