And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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