I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
