you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
