from now on my penis is your penis
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
