sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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