The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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