I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
