just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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