Screwed.edu
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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