Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
