It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
