True but thats because hes a fetus.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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