I can text with my tongue
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
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she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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