someone owes me an orgasm
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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