What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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