I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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