Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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