is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
