But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
