PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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