I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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