I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
