i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
