i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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