they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
