Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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