I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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