never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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