Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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