8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
