I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
