let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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