i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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