I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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