whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
