I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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