Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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