i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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