..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
