dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was CRYING into my vagina
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
