my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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