is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
