I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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