can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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