When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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