im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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