that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize