ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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