i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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