So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
