He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
