Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
