.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
