There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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