Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Duck Duck Cougar?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
